The measure of a man in not counted in the years that he lived it is about the times we think about him.

It has been just about a year since I have sat down and wrote, I am very bad at this written blog. But I am usually up to date on the photo blog. If you haven’t taken a moment to look at that take some time to do so. I don’t want to ramble on and on about how this year has gone I’ll do that later this month but I wanted to take a few minutes and pay tribute to a very special person in my life. Fourteen years ago I was blessed with being introduced to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints through my older sister Amy. Amy was baptized in April of ’98 and I followed her example exactly 6 months later to the date and time. Amy was attending college in Greeley Colorado about 3 hours north of Colorado Springs in which I lived. Amy would come down periodically but not every weekend so it was difficult to attend services every Sunday. As I started attending church I started to become friends with some of the youth. I was at the age of starting High School and what would be the beginning stage of my parents’ divorce. There were several young men around my age that I became friends with Travis, Joey and Justin. These young me I believe shaped me into the person I am today. My conversion to the Church was very early in 1998, but with a parent that tried to control my actions by not allowing me to attend church functions I was stuck. It had been weeks since I attended church and over a month since I attended mutual. I was at home on a Saturday night and like most Saturday nights I was exhausted. I was in my room when my sister came down and said that Justin was on the phone. She handed me the phone and I started a conversation that changed me forever.

Justin wanted to know why I had not been attending church, mutual, and seminary. As I told him that my father told me that was I not to go to those activities anymore. I had just conformed to his demands. I wanted to go. I wanted to be baptized but I was told no. As I became a negative Ned, Justin listened without saying a word. When I finished he asked me one question that changed my life. He asked me “Jason where is your faith? Do you believe that God will hear your prayers, have you prayed about this?” As a young 14 year old boy I may have been a bit prideful and told him “How dare you ask me that. I knew that God can hear my prayers.” I knew that God knew me and that I was going to be okay, but if I was patient I would be okay. After getting off the phone with him I got ready for bed and tried to go to sleep. I laid there and thought about that question. I got back out of bed and knelt by my bedside and asked the Lord to soften my family’s heart. I prayed specifically that I would be able to go back to church and the activities. I promised Heavenly father that if I was able to do that I would serve a full time mission and that I would try to become the best person that I could become. I crawled back into bed and started to cry. The next morning I awoke to my step father opening my door and asking me if I was awake. I said yes, he asked me if I was going to church today, I said if I can. He said yes. I was in shock! He said that my ride was outside. I got up and got ready and was out the door. Later that night I inquired why I was able to go. My step-father told me that every Sunday morning the same family (Justin) stopped by my house and waited to see if I were going to church. They had done that for weeks. That Sunday Justin and I were in the same Sunday school class he noticed that I did not have scriptures. That following Sunday Justin handed me a proselytizing Book of Mormon, I thumbed through it and noticed that Justin had written his testimony on the first couple of pages of the book. Yes on pages! He bore testimony of everything that he could. He handed it to me and said that I needed to read it. I read this copy of the book several times. Justin moved in 1999, and I rarely got to see him but on several occasions. In November 2000 I saw Justin at a youth dance. He was in with a group from his ward; I was able to talk with him. Before I left I had a thought that I needed to get his number so I could talk with him. He had left already and I rationalized that I would see him again. December 1st Justin passed away in a terrible car accident. I found out a few days later. I felt empty, I felt angry at God. The person that brought me to the church was now gone. Simply I was a mess. I stopped eating, barely slept and was getting sick. I remember that my prayers had never been so long; my feet would hurt and would fall asleep from sitting on them. Often I would wake up in the middle of the night and crawl into bed only to wake up hours later with tear stained cheeks. I attended the funeral days later. Walking into the building seemed to take forever. I walked into the Viewing room and remained strong throughout that. I made it to the hallway and sobbed. The funeral ended and I tried to move on with my life. I learned from the passing of Justin that I had been borrowing testimony. I had not fully gained my testimony of the church, the doctrine, and its principles. I picked up the Book of Mormon that Justin gave me and I began reading. I read it over and over. I studied different principles found within this book. I gained my testimony of the Plan of salvation, of the Spirit World and that families can be together forever because of Temples. I read this book so much that the cover and its pages were no longer held together by its binding. Last year I sat down with Justin’s parents. I was able to explain to them what their son truly did for me. I wonder if I adequately expressed my thoughts through my tears. Just a few months ago I was struggling with a few things. I was having a hard time. I remember waking up after having a dream about Justin. I remember crying and talking with Kirsten. I told her that I dreamt that was able to communicate and just spend a day with him. I thought about it all day and even prayed that I might have another night with Justin. That was the only night; but I knew that Heavenly father knew that letting me have that time with Justin I would be okay.

Now the years have passed there has not been a day that goes by when I think of Justin. When I returned from my mission I was looking through a box of my things and noticed his Book of Mormon. I was working for a framing company so I thought that it would be an awesome reminder of Justin. I had the cover of that Book of Mormon framed. Behind the cover are the written pages of testimony of the Man that changed my life. Today I remember Justin as a fun loving, faithful, red head. He changed the way that I communicate with my Heavenly father. I thank Heavenly Father for blessing me to know the Hayward family.

Love Jason